When NOT to Propose

When NOT to Propose

Don’t worry, this post isn’t about red flag relationships or why not to get married. I’m assuming you have already seen our tips on how to surprise propose and questions to ask before you do. This advice, however, is a public service announcement on when it probably is not a great time to propose. According to so many reddit posts, it may not be as easy to know when not to propose to your partner.

Signs You Should Wait

  1. At another person’s special moment. – Let’s imagine you are invited to a beautiful wedding day and it’s just a perfect setting and atmosphere for love. Guess what? It was designed that way…by the wedding couple. In addition, that was months of purposeful planning and funds for it to be so. For them. An engagement dinner, a rehearsal dinner or wedding is NOT the best time for you to propose. Make your own moment. However, it MIGHT be a good moment if it is already your moment and you are enhancing it. For example, it is your graduation day and after the ceremony, you propose to your significant other. That is a green flag.
  2. During an argument or a sensitive time frame. – Even the best laid plans can’t predict bad news. If there’s an unexpected death, loss, job transition or argument between the two of you, that will cloud the memory of any proposal. Most partners would appreciate a bit of time to process the loss or change before being forced to make another life changing decision.
  3. Before an eventful time or decision. – This goes hand in hand with #2. Life is busy for most of us but for some partners, they are ambitious and have a lot on their plate. They may be about to test for a new degree or interview for a big job opening. Those are important and life altering in both of your future. If they have gotten past those butterflies and done their best, you will only be adding to their anxiety. Waiting until after that task will be worth the wait.
  4. Over a sketchy area.  This is one of my biggest fears and even I watch out on this point. When I photograph a wedding, I never use an area over slatted boards or a sand pit. You shouldn’t either. It would give me anxiety if you proposed in the Great Sand Dunes (on the dunes) or over a old, broken wooden dock on the water. My answer might also be the same next to a sheer cliff or geyser in Yellowstone. You can still get that view and have the moment. Let’s just find somewhere with some solid ground to work with.

Luckily, I’ve never had a nightmare situation like any of the ones I have listed above. However, most of them were probably avoided from my advice or premeditated planning.

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